Get this...

So guess wat guys? I officially know wat i'm doing for new years :-) gonna hit the club my first time ever you guys. I'm sooo excited and nervous at the same time i hope its fun. I've been told i'll have a better time if i drink a little but idk about that... So ya know i had to do it big i got the sexiest red pumps lol...

                                          

;-) 

Ok so i been talking to this guy for like a few wks and I couldn't really read him. I would text him he would take forever to write back or not at all. So yesterday we were talking on the phone and he like dropped a bomb on me. Oh I'm really feeling you and idk how to act because i'm not getting no feedback from you... I really like you i want you to be my girl i want you to be comfortable with me and i'm willing to wait for you blah blah blah...And i'm like damn that is a lot to process at least for me lol. I'm not the kind of person that wears my heart on my sleeve no one really knows how i feel about a certain thing unless i let them know a lot of people have called me emotionless but it never really bothered me until now am i that cold? But anyway he says all this stuff and honestly idk if i believe him because i seen how ppl act when they like someone and what he's doing ain't it. I think he hits me up when bored thats fine but messing with ppls emotions is not nice making up lies and wat not...So i'm hoping to maybe meet a nice guy at the club idk how much luck I'll have with that lol...I'll let you guys know how everything goes :-) Happy News Years love ya see next year guys!!!

Merry Christmas

I hope you guys enjoy your holiday :-) I'm trying to enjoy mine considering... I plan enjoy it to the fullest

:,-(

I feel so stupid right now whats wrong with me that I can't pass nursing...

Med-surg final

Ok i have been severely traumatized, I need a hug, some tissues and a passing grade stat. I studied went to tutoring and honestly gave it my best but as usual that is not enough. I prayed, my mom prayed and even you guys prayed but i honestly don't think that was enough. why? because my sweet darling of a teacher screwed us a new asshole by NOT following what she told us to review and get this using somebody else's final that actually teaches...Its WONDERFULL I know I'm delighted -___- Its so great i'm on the border of crying....

"funny"

Its funny how a guy could be into one moment but totally ignore/dis you the next. I wanna get to know you, I'm really feeling you and other bs lines like that lol are jus an in. They  act all nice,  friendly, gentle and perfect till things don't go their way at which point they throw a man tantrum. They stop calling, writing, texting whatever.... I'm starting to think that all guys are the same even though i tried to fight that line tooth and nail. As much as it pains me to say i was wrong alls guys are the same they think with their little head and are all shallow... Till proof proves other wise thats my final answer :-P

My "sexual" orientation

So let me explain that title i am a 20 yr old women/ college student neva had a bf, haven't had my first kiss let alone lose my virginity. Yes i am a rare breed at this point in my life or so i been told. I dress comfortable jeans, sweat pants, thugs (my fake uggs lol) like any other college student but according to my friends im a total weird loser...They didn't exactly say that but thats how i read it in my mind. To them normalcy is having already had a bf and ur virginity is history yrs ago. But since i've moved to long island not one decent guy has asked me out. the crack heads, bums, dead beats, drop outs, old creepy guys and players are all i get. But according to my friends my "standards" are to high im sorry if thats the "creme de la creme" then i'll be a snobby bitch and not answer. They also say i don't dress girly enough exact quote is "you dress like a construction worker" to be honest like who am i trying to impress I can look good wen i want to even sexy if i do say so myself ;);) but anyway i been telling u my life's story for a reason. They think im a lesbian on the low its sooo funny i forgot to laugh -_______- excuse me for not sharing my vagina like the next celeb scandal or lowering my standards to make me seem "normal". I was neva normal to be normal now would being going against myself and my unique person.  I honestly think im being raised in the wrong era. Guys don't ask girls out anymore, if ur not having sex ur considered weird and if ur shy ur a lesbian. If im going to share myself with someone mentally let alone physically u have to be so important to me. You having 2 consider me giving everything to more special then i do. I want you to want me because i Don't have to give a thing thats when i'll give everything... until that guy come along "i'll be the weird virgin 20 yr old who dresses like a construction worker and who everybody thinks is a lesbian" ....Now u no my story lets hear yours it can't be any worse then that... 

My test

I'm soooo proud of myself right now i got my first good grade in med surg yesturday an 88 :-). May not be the best but i studied my ass and prayed, my momma prayed and i did it, woooooo. O k now all i need is a good grade on the final and i might actually pass my class. Clinical actually wasn't that bad this year it was the actual class. Pray for me ya i gotta remember a semester worth of stuff in 2 wks...Its can be done god willing *crosses fingers*

"Open invitation"

That is the title of my baby tyrese's neew album showing everybody in the music biz that he is a true "Rtist" nearly fives years without releasing an album his goes straight to the top, that is true talent for you. He's doing it without help with the release being from his record label "voltron". I already got my two favorite songs from the album and i havent even heard the whole thing as of yet. "Stay" which is a remake of teddy pendergrass http://youtu.be/51mR-z80X_o & "Best of me" http://youtu.be/kYQWVBjP0_k that man has jus song his way right in to my heart lmao cheesy i know. Honestly anybody that can sing that well need to hit me up we will definately hit it off. His music jus sing to my lonely soul... Anyway don't take my word for it check it out for ur selves let me know what ya think of my baby's new album ;-)

Run

Idk if its the fact that b4 i went to sleep last nite my fortune said that "someone who admires me is hidden b4 my eyes" but i had the craziest dream last nite. It was me talking to some guy and his friend comes up to me and he's like "i noticed u around n i'm really feeling u" my reaction is to run off like a chicken with its head cut off, lmao. My friend catches up with me i start screaming at him like "why didn't u tell me he liked me?". He starts saying "u should give him a chance, he's a real nice guy and he likes u, he'll treat u right not like those other losers." So this whole dream is this kid chasing me saying "i like u go out with me" and me running away finding odd places to hide. At one point i hid in my room under the covers (not my brightest moment lol) he comes in and is like i c u and starts pulling the covers. We have  tug of war n he starts winning at which point i start yelling for my dad. He doesn't pay any attention to me until i shout out that theres a guy i my room...I don't remember the rest of it but i gotta say i thought it was pretty funny. According to google.com my dream of being chased is related to conflict and anxiety...I'm all for interpretations so let me know wat u think :-)

The walls are closing in

The walls are closing in on me and i don't know what to do. Every time i think I might get out of this quick sand i'm jus sucked in deeper  i feel the giraffe in this link http://youtu.be/G_Z3lmidmrY just not the whole dying thing in the literal sense maybe mentally...Skool sucks as usual and once again has brought me to tears...Its becoming a monday afternoon ritual not one i wish to continue. I called the counseling service at my skool and left a message about an appt. im hoping that talking 2 somebody away from the big picture will give me new perspective.

The one guy that i actaully liked and was talking to turns into jackal hyde and goes overly ridiculous ova me not picking up the phone while at my cuzzin's wake (may she RIP). I totally went off on him and dropped him like he was hot. It was the last straw of things that i jus wasn't willing to put up with. He's 23 not in skool, not planning on going to skool, in a bad retail job, no car or college degree and worst of all he wants to be famous...Grow up!! ur an adult if you want to be famous you gotta work ur ass off and be talented... Its a one in a million chance and he had no back up plan...Although i don't have a back up plan either if nursing doesn't work out, but hey im in skool at least theres always opportunity for  something...what exactly idk :-P...If you guys can make better sense of my life hook a sister up n let me no cuz its not doing much for me...

:-(

 I thought this semester would be different...guess not. Always on the border of utter failure or barely passing. Evybody is always like you can do it but its so hard... I'm starting to think its impossible. The big question always on my mind nowadays what do i do if nursing doesn't work out? its just breaking my heart that i'm not good enough... a failure to my parents and to myself...I lose sleep and cry over this i just feel like i'm slowly losing my sanity a semester at a time...

Odd (Wo)man Out

Lately i feel like those r the words 2 describe me n its also the category i fit in... Its always been there but it was me holding my self back becuz of my shyness n lack of confidence in myself. But since i started college that has changed dramatically im more open, playful n definitely laugh a lot more im a totally different person.... So y am i still the odd ball evywhere i go? At home, at skool, at work even with my friends i feel like the lil sister that jus tags along unwanted. I'm 20 yrs old i thought these things would have worked themselves out by now...guess not :-(

I'm single not desperate (i stole that lol)

Now that all my friends have boyfriends or had boyfriends they feel it is their duty 2 get me one....YYYYY? idk if i look sad or lonely or they want me to feel included n not like the 3rd for 5th wheel. I dont mind being single HONESTY ppl its the way its been my whole life its my norm. Pls leave ur weirds guy friends, bf friends, cuzzins...away from me. Im not being picky u guys jus wont leave me alone. I ont even get started on my mom shes expecting for me 2 get married within the next 2yrs jus becuz she got married young...smh. So until which time a guy n i have mutual likeness 4 each other n he asks me out leave me alone!!! damn that felt good lol :-)

Another yr

So begins the drama of my college life...I jus did a full wk of skool n realized that I'm totally screwed but I'm gonna do my best god willing n kick ass this semester...I have 2 really hard classes n 2 not so bad class that I can't slack in...basically I'm a slave2 my books....

My social life is pretty much a mess 2...lol I mean my friends social lives mine has been pretty stable 4 a couple of yrs...new bf dramas, break ups n the fact that evybody around me thinks I'm soooo lonely being single they r trying 2 hook me up wit evybody n their brother smh...so as u probably guessed I'm back so heyyyy lol!

Dreams/Guys

Lately I been dreaming about guys nonstop lol...Does any body no wat this means? Cuz I haven't got a clue...Theres nothing frisky so get ur minds out the gutta lol. Its jus me either random guys flirting wit me or me flirting wit them but I always wake up before we ever get the chance 2 exchange numbers or go out. Usually my dreams r jus plan weird but now its either I subconciously like flirting, my single days r numbered or watever else u guys can think of lol...Its been going on for wks now can anybody help a sister out?

Summer time

My favorite time of the yr :-) the weather is nice n the guys r hot (most of the time at least lol) So far its been a good vacation been doing nothing but working,chilling n sleeping now this is the life lol...I finally got my dress for the engagement party that is this Saturday by the way. My shoes are banging if I do say so myself :-) I'm getting my eyebrows done 2mrw, my nail done Friday, my hair n make up on saturday...(at which point I will be broke lol) Ok this is gonna sound real nerdy u guys so don't judge me lol...I no I'm gonna look hot for the party not becuz of wat I mentioned above but becuz I'm ovulating lmao I no I actually pay attention in class lol...So wat ru guys up 2?

Skools out

N u no wat dat means? nothing I'll be dividing my time working and relaxing lol...Wat ru guys doing for the summer? Last summer i started this blog and i really like it this yr im hoping to do something else or a new hobby...any ideas? Maybe a summer romance wouldnt dat be great :-).... yea dats not happening so lets think of things dat r possible lol. It so good to be out of skool no deadlines or impending dooms lol, i would also like to mention dat i passed all of my classes yaaay me. 

I'm also so excited for my friend from skool as u guys no her shes getting married yaaaay...n she made me her maid of honor double yaaaay.I found the perfect dress for her engagement party but my boobies were like popping out of it n it was bordering hoochie. So i had 2 order a bigger from like a different state, i really hoping it looks as good cuz if it dont im gonna be really mad...so pray for me guys.

Nursing the journey

So my friend from skool who i met in class the first day of college in 09 has officially left nursing after 2 yrs of blood sweat n tears. She switched her major to social work. Well i'm sad that we won't continue n finish this journey together... but you gotta do wat makes u happy. To be honest i neva felt so alone as u can see by my out burst "I'm done". Last semester i went thru so much with my nursing classes but knowing i wasn't alone always eased the pain, but that is no more i  am on my own now officially.This is like a major let down one of many 2 be honest. Although i no its bad to go backwards i cant help myself these past few yrs i been coming out my shell n its not helping that i'm constantly disappointed. I feel like i was fine b4 wen i was in turtle mode i didn't need anybody. So as a safety mechanism  i going back 2 it.Maybe i come out after college idk...

I'm done

I'm really tired of putting myself out there getting comfortable with a person jus so that person leaves one way or another.Either that be friends or other wise... I no ppl r suppose 2 come n go in ur life its part of the "adventure" n growing up, but im tired of it, seriously. I'm tired of the disappointments, the hurt n the stress. Im going thru enough dealing wit skool. So from now on im on lockdown mode... I don't want new friends, family or watever... At this point, im jus passing thru, don't notice me at all...

Wrestling

I grew up on wrestling n spent many a nights being terrorized by my older cuzzins about the different characters. Over the the yrs I have continued this love hate relationship. Cheering on the good guys n sometimes the bad guys. After so long of being entertained by these great human beings i've come to realize now wat they put their bodies thru each n evy wk for our entertainment. You see the stories in the news every couple of yrs of one of these super stars dying unfortunate deaths there primes. Not even hitting the age of 50. 

The common denominators seem to be suicide, overdose (usually steroids and/or cocaine)  or heart attacks. The steroids i think seem to play a major role in all three forms of death. They wanna be stronger, faster and bigger based on our demands (the public) of what real "men" should look like, act like. Which is totally unrealistic, these r human beings, wit families, wit kids. If u go to the gym daily n don't look all beef up n juiced up, y should they? They shape their bodies on the images of what "we" want don't u think its time we changed wat a "man' looks like?

Then there r the overdoses. Always trying to get the better stuff, the stronger stuff. For some it was about the high. Mixing different things to try to get the better look and the best high. The others it was about beating the competition. All in all they reached that ultimate high that they wont come back from. 

Not to mention wat it does to the brain. The roid rage, the aggression and the suicide. All of those hormones from the steroids messes wit the chemistry in their brains not to mention the numerous concussions. A perfect example of this is one of the best wrestlers of all time hands down chris benoit (god rest his soul). If u looked at his brain there was so much scar tissue and holes.

How can a human being function properly wen his brain looks like this?

Now for the matters of the heart attacks another great wrestler Eddie guerrero aka "latino heat" (may he also  rest in peace). Steroids r hormones that make the muscles bigger.Ur heart is also a muscle the biggest muscle u have .It can only pump so much n get so big eventually its gonna burn out. Put on top of that if u already had a heart condition, the odds r not in ur favor. Take a look at wat "we" is doing to family men, brothers,fathers and husbands. Is it worth it?

Surprise party

Omg  saturday was crazy. We had a surprise party for one of my bffs. First we had 2 figure out where we were gonna have it, then food, music, drinks all while not letting her no, which was really hard. Tell me y i also had 2 pick like evyones gift for her like im some kind of expert (not)...It was all worth it she was so surprised and had no clue...The look on her face was priceless... She started crying so then i decided 2 tell her we love her, n that this time we actually mean it lol... Wat did u guys do the wkend? Did i mention that i was on springbreak this wk? Woooo im gonna sleep like its 1999 lol.

T.A.

Hi my name is collegegerlz n i am a technology addict... Lol in the past couple of yrs i become obsessed wit tech it started with my fone n digital camera. Last yr i got my laptop (which is my baby by the way lol)  This yr its the kindle by Amazon.com i loooooovvvve it...(Did i mention that i love it) Its like a library in the palm of my hand. No longer do i have 2 go 2 the library look for new books or put things on hold, it comes 2 me in less than 60 secs in the privacy of my own home or skool or anywhere that has wifi lol. It also has games which i haven't tried yet to wrapped up in my books but also internet (its not the best but i can check my email n go on facebook if need be) It holds like 3000 books so no longer do i have 2 look like a librarian walking around with so many books. Its the best invention for a bookworm like me.  So am i the only one?

Hey guys i'm back

I'm back yaaaay lol...I took a lil break n had some me time...But can i jus say i miss u guys, all the input n ideas really give my life a different perspective...

With that being said lol... how do u guys feel about online dating? With all the buzz n the pop up of new sites almost weekly on facebook n wat not, wat do u guys think? Is it safe? thats my number one concern? Wat is  the age limit? R they worth the money u pay?

To answer a few of these questions i did a lil experiment. I have been on four sites using various names...The sites include zoosk, koopa, eharmony, and cupidplay. Can i jus say Do NOT waste ur money...In my opinion zoosk,koopa n cupidplay is really for the younger ppl my age not 2 say it wont work for older ppl (maybe that could be my next experiment lol) they jus seems 2 attract a younger crowd n a few old pervs here n there (who u can block by the way greatest internet invention ever)  but anyway i would give my top rating for koopa evybody on the site seems generally nice. Although u do have 2 look at the profiles some ppl on there r jus looking 4 one night stands. Others were really nice n generally wanted 2 get 2 know new ppl. Eharmony which is so popular with ppl now a days didn't really do it for me on all the other sites i at least had a convo with one person even if i didn't keep talking 2 them in the end. Hey, but don't take my opinion 4 it try it out urself. All in all i didn't get all the answers that i wanted but i did find out that online dating wasn't for me...If u guys have had better luck then me with this let me know, i'm all about a good story :-)

My 2 weird dreams

Ok so u guys no about my crush... Well tell me y i had a dream about him this wk n i gotta say it feels like god has given me a sign lol. In my dream my sister who's friends wit his brother comes up 2 me n tells me that basically my crush says "wat we had was great but its time for us 2 move on with our lives" in my dream i'm like damn but then wen i try 2 c him in the dream he's in jail. I don't really think he's in jail but the move on part really something major like god telling me i made the right chose. This happened over the wkend by the way

So i don't remember wat i was dreaming about but it must have been really crazy. Cuz wen i woke up this morning my sheets were all on the floor. I'm like ok sometimes they do fall off but wat really got me is the fact that i found my necklace on the bed. So im like damn it broke again right...nope wrong i find my necklace perfectly fine on my bed. It was around my neck last nite like it always is...how the hell did it come off with out breaking? Like wth was i dreaming about that all of this would happen? i really wanna no lol... Wat do u guys think of this?

Old job blues

Ok my old job is getting on my last nerve...I help this middle aged lady out at her house, she has some nerve damage or watever but she's also the laziest person ever (she surpass me lol thats wat i call lazy). First of she won't do the simplest task for her self and she's pulling me me in evy which direction then complains that i don't finish like bitch its ur fault, smh. Then yesturday she gonna tell me some stupid shit like "oh the job manual says ur only suppose 2 take 15 mins to wash the plates" yea it is wen i don't have a mountain of pots n pans, n she doesn't keep adding plates evy 5 seconds or if i didn't have 2 dry that mountain of dishes. Then she goes my other assisstants r able 2 do it in 15min. That cuz them chicks dont even wash the plates they jus rinse them wit water n put them back, i'm sorry if u want ur plates dirty then fine i'll do the same as them. Then she turns on the oven 2 heat it up 4gets a pan in der but its already hot, so she takes it out puts it on the oven 4gets its hot n burns herself this fat piece... tries 2 blame burning her self on me can u believe this? So i stayed like an hr more then i was suppose 2 cuz she always trying 2 do evything at once but do i get paid extra no... i waste my precious time for no reason...As soon as my probation period is over i'm quitting this ladies job cuz if i don't i'll end up telling her evything i think of her n it won't be pretty lol

Relationships

I've always wanted 2 be in a relationship n I've always envied those who were in one...But that is no more my friends lol.  I thought relationships were a partnership of 2 ppl with come goals n interest who r committed 2 each other flaws n all. That does sound good in theory, it sounds down right great actually, but in my experience (more like observations lol) it neva quite goes that way. I'm not saying there won't be fights becuz 2 ppl can't be in the same space all the time without fighting once in a while. No i'm talking about the other stuff the insecurities, the distrust n the lies. All the things u start out in the relationship hiding or other wise. Then wen ur actually comfortable wit the person, evything jus comes out causing a big ball of lies, mistrust,confusion n hurt. You see all of this happening while looking from the outside in but the person actually in this situation is oblivious. How is that a good outlook on relationships? Too me it seems like most ppl in a relationships r miserable n they look down on us single ppl (idk y becuz i'm relatively happy n comfortable unlike them...) like they feel bad for us. But that is not the whole truth, its like that saying "misery loves company". They get sucked into this vortex with the idea of happiness but instead its the total  opposite. There just trapped in the web of someone else's idea of happiness. I would rather be single n happy then in a relationship n not be. I wanna make my own happiness. If ur in a relationship n ur happy god speed more power 2 u.I'm talking about the ones in those relationships where u wonder y they still 2gether (smh lol). Stop pitying me for something that i don't necessarily need, wen ur supposed "blessing" isn't wat u want. I don't need another half i'm already enough for me 2 handle lol... Idk if i'm just rambling but its just how i'm feeling on the topic...Wat do u guys think?

New job n skool

So i started my new job this  (can i jus say not every body that works at that hospital is nice lol) it was ok pretty much wat i expected... Except most of the time the patients ring the bells by accident or becuz they want company.Thats ok but there are so much of them u can't dedicate ur time 2 jus one... I gotta say since working there the past fews days all the cute guys have either disappeared or gone in2 hiding lmao. Idk if its becuz its the wkend but i gotta say im disappointed lol smh. I was expecting lots of eye candy but no i got suck wit some short fat indian (no disrespect 2 my indian ppl) dude who swings his arms really hard wen he he walks lmfao( ok i laughed so hard on that one i got tears in my eyes) this dude is priceless...But anyway the food is still banging for a hospital lol so i guess i can live without the cuties for now... Skool starts again 2mrw fml... Jus wen i got used 2 my schedule skool gotta come around n mess evything up. In the words of jay-z "its a hard knock life" (lmao old skool wat ya no about that...) but anyway its my quote of the wk... So for this whole semester i working 2 jobs n going 2 skool full time...pray for me ya i'm gonna need it... Wats up wit u guys?

OH CRAP!!!

I went to sleep this morning at 2a.m. n wasn't expecting 2 wake up until 12p.m. in time 2 get up n get ready 2 hang wit some friends...Instead i'm wokin up at 8a.m. by my mom telling me my new job is on the line....I was suppose work 2day i go no i haven't gone 2 the third orientation there like but ur suppose work 2day. OMFG i had a weird dream this wk but i thought it would be a something good weird not a ur off 2 a bad start a ur new job weird!!!!! I didn't even get my uniform yet!!!! FML!!!! I was expecting more along the lines of hey i like u (by a guy who happens 2 be cute wit a fading mohawk fro) not hey u have work    
-________- now that i have wokin i can't go back 2 sleep n i have work 2day at my other job at 6p.m. n i have hw...I'm not getting paid enough 2 live my life -__-   .....how life 4 u guys?

Slutty Profile Pics

I am so sick n tired of girls wit slutty profile pics. U think u look cute but u don't...u jus be a hoe wirelessly...All those guys who supposedly "like" u jus want some free punaany (pussy lol) since u seem 2 like sharing wit the world wide web they jus trying 2  get theirs...Especially these young girls they think everything gotta hang out for boys 2 like them...NEWS FLASH: girls they still don't like  u 4 u they jus like wat they can get...Guys will use u like tissue n take all ur willing 2 give then leave u 2 marry the "virgin" or the girl who didn't open her legs as wide as u... So please stop wit these pic they'll bring u more hurt then happiness... Please tell me i'm not the only one... cuz this has been annoying me 4 the longest...Leave ur opinion on this please...i really wanna hear it...

Back 2 reality

Ok vacation time has come gone lol i start skool 2mrw and i had my orientation yesturday...Crappiest day ever if i do say so myself. First i couldn't wake up, then i realized i had my period (always bad news lol 2 me at least), then i could't find anything 2 wear, then i was late n last but not least i had agonizing cramps most of the orientation.I swear during all of this i had a hot flash lol (i no i'm only 19 but seriously). Today was the second day it wasn't that bad i was almost late again but it wasn't my fault this time lol it was my dad's (who's birthday it is 2day...Happy birthday he turns 50...jus in case u were wondering lol) Anyway is was ok other then me falling asleep lmao. i couldn't help myself...When i woke up it was lunch time lmfao i perked right up. Let me tell u the cheesecake was banging (for hospital food the food is the bomb lol), the other food is good 2 lol. I'm really gonna like working there lol the food is great the guys r great if it had apartments i would move in lol, wat more could a girl ask for? I have a third orientation next wk (this is the most i ever been 2...but the free lunch is worth it lol) which i have 2 be in uniform for n the i start working like the next day...yaaaaay. U no wat the best part is?....Its the hospital they always need ppl 2 work so ya no i'm in there lol cuz i need dat paper...How was ya new yrs any crazy stories 2 share?