Monday, August 18, 2014

The "Call back"

If we were talking and we stopped for some irrelevant reason at the moment why do guys think that they can call you a few months/years -_- after the fact and act like everything is okey doke Noooooo! It doesn't work like that you had your chance you blew it, you fucked up, you choked now you done "experienced the world" and realized you could've had a good one, your bored with your life/got tired of playing with your dick. You trying to talk to boring little ol me again hahahahaha did you think that I was sitting in some dark room crying waiting for your call or something... yea oook,  what ever helps you sleep at night ;-)

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Summertime

Summertime my favorite time of the year the sun, the fun and my birthday what more could I ask for...but this summer has just been a total bust for me. School, work and family drama have taken away my usual care free summer attitude. This summer is the first time I really felt like an adult with issues...I gotta say it's totally not fun... There's been good moments don't get me wrong but for the most part I could do without the rest.So since we have a month left of summer the best month ever ( I'm not just saying that cause I'm a Leo ;-) lol) I hope it takes a turn toward bigger and better things. Hope your having a great summer :-)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

My sign

Randomly started reading this book called "pink Lipo & empty hearts "  it was like a direct message to me from God the sign I was waiting for :-)


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Best interest in mind

I was just having a convo with my parents about the people who are truly on your side.It's sad to find out that someone "close" to you doesn't always have your best interest at heart. Friends, coworkers even family have ulterior motives. They wanna see you fail, they wanna see you hurt, they wanna see you broken. It's kind of sick and twisted, how they can be smiles and giggles in your face,planning your demise behind closed doors. That's rot from the core and outwards, how do you get to that level of being? Are you dead inside? If your my friend, family or whatever I'm loyal to fault I only want the best for you, your success is my success and we're going to celebrate till we hours of the morning. Your failure is my failure we can cry, be depressed and eat ice cream together, but I'm learning the hard way not everyone cares about you as you do them. If we're close then I'm investing in you putting in the time, the emotion, the work that whole heartedness it can't be faked. When that's thrown back in your face or used against you with some agenda that hurts :-(  like deep down like a piece of your soul is damaged. You can repair it patch it over time which I've done a lot over the last couple of years sadly. My circle has never been all that big to begin with but it's down to like my parents and two  maybe three other people. Everything has just made me feel like how am I suppose to let new people? To be honest I've been through so look much with supposed "bffs" I honestly hate the words. Once a relationship has gotten that title it just deteriorates. I don't even wanna get started on family drama and betrayal,smh. I'm wary on getting close to anyone and that's no way to live. This has been my demon for a while now, logically I know they shouldn't stop me from certain things or people. Emotionally though my heart is like "don't you remember what happened last time we did that?" Which is pretty much when I get nervous and freeze up, hasn't happened in a while so I'm making strides, yay me lol.....Anyway those are my deep thoughts for the day (and probably for a while lol) leave a comment tell me what you think on the subject.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Should I ask him out?

Soooo there's this guy at work who just started working there and I think he's pretty cute. I'm trying to decide whether I should ask him out or just day dream about him like usually do for my crushes....If I do ask him out and then he says he not interested it's gonna be weird if I see him around. My mom always told told me it's not a lady's place to do the chasing butttt according to the rest of the world times have changed. I'm waiting for some kind of signal from God on whether I should do it lol wish me luck and leave a comment....

Side bar this guy asked me for  my number at  this event I went to at my little cousins school totally random. Thank god my cousin was there to diffuse the situation cuz it was about to get real awkward....

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Opinions

My joy and my pain, my failure and my success, are mine and mine alone... your thoughts and your opinions  are unwarranted and irrelevant, so you can just take them and shove them south of the border, your border ;-)

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Dating -_-

Am I the only one who has been on a long term romance drought? I'm just saying....I feel like I've gotten to that age where people are like your still single what are you waiting for? Umm hello a nice decent guy it's not like I can just pick one up at your local supper market (if you can please inform the rest of us to this magical location) I'm 22 I don't think I've reached old maid yet I think I still have a few miles. But lately it's the only thing I hear not I so happy for you academy noooo...you still single your pretty enough.....why are single? N my personal favorite your single what's wrong with you? -_- .... My mom is even in on the act trying to set me up on a blind date with her coworkers son like really uhhhhh. My dad's side of the family like officially thinks I'm a lesbian,which is great. Then this whole dating online thing has been total Bullshit like 99.9% just wanna get laid which is fine but  don't waist my time n act like you actually wanna date..N people wonder why I'm kind of cross about getting in a relationship it's to much games the whole dating thing, frustrating doesn't even begin to describe it. The last straw right now is I met with this guy who I was suppose to have a lunch date with. Which we didn't even go on...We meet he says he can't stay we talk for a few n it fine. The he's like "how long is it gonna take for you to get "comfortable" with me? Like two or three meets" what the fuck is that supposed to mean? I hang with you 15minutes and your starting a count down for when you think you can get laid get the fuck out of here....it doesn't work like that at least not with me it doesn't. I deleted my account....I'm soooo done....lose my Mother fucking number....Seriously

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Tinkering & DIY's : Basic Bead Bracelets

Tinkering & DIY's : Basic Bead Bracelets: Bead bracelets are a a good place to start for jewelry making beginners because they are simple and easy to make.   You can use whatever b...

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Hey

Hey guys it's been a minute I wanna start writing on here again so hi....I'm back lol.... So a lot has happened since we last spoke I've actually been out on a few dates yay me lol (finally I know) I'm starting to figure out what kind of guy I want but it's a work in progress as with all things in life. I've been trying the whole online dating thing it has pros and cons. Pro: the amount of guys and the variety. Con: most just want to get laid or friends with benefits. Pro: gaining experience in conversation so I'm less nervous. Con: people use the fact that they are online to be rude. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the time that I'm putting in but then I talk to a really nice person and that feeling disappears. I think it helping with my confidence for the most part but yesterday I had kind of a set back. This guy messaged me that's cool but then he's like "what's wrong with your eye is that a fake eye or are you crosseyed or something?" I was born with low vision and  crosseyed my right  eye especially is really weak and I've been wearing glasses since the first grade. Over the pass few years with the help of glasses  my left eye has straightened out but my right eye is still crossed. The only time it's really problem is in pictures or when people point it out. I take it in stride because sometimes people are just curious but I still feel kind of sad about it. It's not something that can be hid with make up or a hat, you know. It's one of those things that really takes a blow to my confidence. But It's apart of me so I gotta love it lol. 
So started working out again this past week I'm really sore and loving it. My plan is to be sexy by summertime or a flat stomach would work too lol. I stopped over the summer after my car accident but I feel like I'm ready to get back  into it. So my work out is mostly core and thigh focused since my calves don't need to be any bigger lol. So I been doing wall sits, squats, jumping jacks, lunges,push ups, sit up, crunches and last but not least planks in no specific order. So hopefully I tone up and lose some inches. Any way that's me...later :-)